Daddy's little girl

I watched Daddy's little girl last night. It was about two people finding love from two different social economic levels but of the same race. It got me thinking a lot about how our world works and the types of things that separate us from people and getting to know them. A lot of time I feel as if I can not relate to people because of where they live, what they grew up with and the type of person they are. Not a lot of thoughts on this yet, more a challenge to myself. I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize all my friends were like me.

Thankful...

Today at Mosaic we had a conversation about gratitude. It was one of those moments when I was reminded that life is what you make of it and that I needed to take my head out of the sand and snap back into reality.

I am going to start practicing an exercise with my new friend Rose and writing down five things that I am thankful for at the end of each day.

Five things I am grateful for today

1. Being able to run for 50 minutes and my knees not hurting
2. Spending time with a new friend today and getting to know a little bit more about her.
3. Eating awesome fruit and veggies during a great movie.
4. Spending time with Kevin and Nikki tonight at my apartment.
5. That tomorrow is Monday and I don't have to work.

Friday not musings...

So I have been thinking a lot about my college experience in the context of community. It was so much easier to feel connected in college because you lived life so closely with the people you were friends that. I miss my friends from college so much sometimes. I have so many amazing memories and so many places that I wish I could relive again. I hope to have that place here in the bay area.

Just a fact on Trafficking

“Trafficking in human beings is now the third-largest moneymaking venture in the world, after illegal weapons and drugs. In fact, the United Nations estimates that the trade nets organized crime more than $12 billion a year” (Victor Malarek The Natashas: Inside the New Global Sex Trade). Found at nightlightbangkok.com

What is trafficking?

“The recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring or receipt of persons, by means of the threat or use of force or other forms of coercion, of abduction, of fraud, of deception, of the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or of the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation". -Stated by the United Nations

Slavery does still exist. What are we doing about this?

Ever have days where you feel like you won't make it due to your calendar?

Do you ever look at your calendar in a day and wonder, how am I going to make it through this day? I woke up after not being able to really go to sleep until about midnight and had about 25 minutes to make it out the door. I did it though, shower and all.

I was on my way to Tennyson High school for a meeting and the woman who I was meeting with called me right as I had gotten on the freeway. She told me that her daughter was sick and we needed to reschedule. At that very moment I thought of something one of my friends said yesterday, you are loved and you will not be given more than you can handle. Its great to know that hearing God's voice in possible and I heard it today in such a small and tangible way.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

May I get to a place that I am coming from Him filling me and out of that flows everything else. May I hear His voice whisper my worth that comes from nothing I have done or earned but from Him calling me. May the world be found in Him and the hope that Jesus brings. Jesus is the hope of the world and thats the absolute truth.

Endings and Beginnings

I moved out of my apartment today fully. Cleaned the walls, scraped the bathroom floor, did the whole nine yards. I even cleaned the carpet with a carpet cleaner I got. It is interesting that so much is coming within this move, it's not just one old apartment to another one. My reality has been put before me this week, a perspective that I have not had in three years and a feeling that I know will get better with time but for now I must sit, wait, be patient, and hope.

When you are found so deeply in what you do instead of who you and you no longer have what you do life gets really tough. You begin to see that your self worth comes from something it should not. You find that your inner core and the peace you thought you had is not your true state. It's not that you have been untrue to the world around you or even to yourself but you were unaware. The first step to wholeness in this matter is awareness. I am headed up the right path it's just a long one maybe, or maybe it will be short. Of course my desire is the short one but I refuse to miss out on this journey.

Thank you to the small voice inside of my soul that speaks lots of truth into me during this moments. I am thankful that I have a God who really deeply cares about who I am becoming.

Informative blog on paradigms

Hey Everyone! Apart of my job as a program manager is putting together training material for mentors for further training in leadership development and self awareness.

Today I have been working on paradigms and this is a piece of what I did today.

Ways to describe or define a paradigm (from uc-riverside's website)

• a mental model
• a way of seeing
• a filter for one's perceptions
• a frame of reference
• a framework of thought or beliefs through which one's world or reality is interpreted
• an example used to define a phenomenon
• a commonly held belief among a group of people, such as scientists of a given discipline

Sometimes people come to a place in their life where their mental model or way of seeing is not working for them. Their reality is not a true one. I am still working on ways to identify healthy paradigms and unhealthy paradigms. The thing that is at the center of you is usually the thing that defines your paradigm. Sometimes we are in need for a paradigm shift and Stephen Covey talks about a paradigm shift that happened from this story.

He was traveling in a subway, a man gets in with his two sons, the sons are running all over the place bothering the people, this continues, so he finally gets irritated enough to ask the father why he doesn't do something to control his kids. The father replies, "We just got back from the hospital where their mother died. I don't know how to handle it and I guess they don't either."

He had no idea what was going on in this mans life but he was annoyed. We have to consider those around us and where they are coming from which begins and ends with paradigms. So to all my friends, think about this because it helps you to become more aware.

Longing to really have roots

Conversation after conversation this week I have realized finally what i have already known. I am longing for connection, for roots, for people who really know me. It takes time to build relationships that would last a life time. How unique would something be if it grew in a day or in a month? I am not sure that I can get my thoughts out tonight in the way that I want to. I hope to one day be able to call where I am at home. I hope to stick things out through the hard days when the feeling of alone is the only thing I know. I hope to find hope like I have never found it before. I hope to see my dreams come to pass and really build on things.

One day, I promise one day it will happen. I have hope.